Review: The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You by Vlad Mezrich

Last word first: This one had me giggling from start to finish (4/5).

Description: Are you in love with a vampire? Are you worried that you might not be his (blood) type? Do you wonder whether that cold stare means he isn’t interested . . . or if it’s because he’s been dead for three centuries (nothing personal)? Even though your vampire’s skin is transfixingly translucent, he can still be very hard to read. Sometimes he’s simply holding back his true feelings, resisting the urge to bite you in the chance that one day you will truly love him. And other times . . . well, he’s just not that into you. How can you tell? Undead dating specialist Vlad Mezrich has all the answers, utilizing quizzes, Top Ten lists, language analysis, real-life (and real-death) testimonials, and fancy charts to show you what you need to do in order to get your vampire and keep him forever. (description from Goodreads)

My thoughts: As I mentioned above, this book cracked me up. It's full of helpful "advice" on all topics related to dating a vampire. You'll learn everything from how to tell if your crush is a real vampire (he might just be goth!) to how to handle that all important first date (stay away from the garlic bread), to what to do if you think he might be losing interest... in dating you, that is (time to start carrying a stake). And every topic in between.

I was laughing at pretty much every page of this book, but my favorite parts were the quizzes. Here's a sample question from "Finding The Vampire Who's Right For You":

Your preferred pet name is...
a. My Unbearably Fragile Human Love. Leave me! No, stay!
b. Fleur d'Morte
c. Lunch

I found this was a great book to tuck in my purse and carry with me to read in short segments whenever I had a couple minutes. Twilight fan? This is the book for you. Twilight fan mocker? You'll enjoy it as well. Seriously, this book is so tongue-in-cheek and funny that just about anyone would enjoy it.

Strange but true: When I was browsing the Amazon and Goodreads pages on this book, I noticed that at least one commenter seemed to be taking this book as literally true. I'm fairly certain it's meant to be humorous and/or mocking, but that could be my cynical nature talking.